Ultimatum
by Jacelynn
Summary: Jace Wayland and Simon Lewis want Clary Fray to make a choice between them. Based on the wonderful Mortal Instruments Series; after City of Ashes. ** Note to that there are other chap. posted, many readers are missing how to go to furthur chapters.**
1. Chapter 1

I tried not to look at the helpless, barely recognizable women in the bed. It hurt, a vice grip on my chest.

"Take my breath mom; take anything you need from me. Please! Just wake up."

Beep, beep, beep. It was steady and unchanging. How many countless times did I try to help her? A faithful Jace or Simon; sometimes even Isabelle by my side. I willed every rune my mind could conjure up. Most turned out to be nothing; scribbled attempts that questioned my gift. But nothing I created could help her. I took her hand in mine, it made my skin look dark in comparison; something it definitely wasn't. Just evidence of how sick and lifeless she truly was. The guilt and anger pounded hard at my stomach. I wiped my eyes hard with the rough edge of my jacket. Now wasn't a time to show weakness.

"She'll be o.k. Clary. It's not your fault."

The whisper of reassurance mingles along with the other voices in my head. Real or imaginary; his was always the strongest. I knew this time he was really there though. By body always reacted to his presence. He was like my armor, covering me with a complete sense of safe.

"But Jace, look at her. I can't stand being so useless. I can't do anything to help her." He was standing next to my chair, his balled up fists eye level with me. This was hard for him too, not being able to help me, not knowing how to comfort me.

"You need a break, Clary. Come with me."

His strong, lightly scarred hand uncurled in front of my face. I dropped my head and shook it in pitiless duty. I couldn't leave her. It was complete and utter silence. Only the maddening noise of machines echoed in the room. I felt his hand stroke my hair, comforting me like a child. His fingers twisted at the ends, my straggly red hair looked dull against his golden perfection.

"Walk with me," it wasn't a suggestion this time.

It was a gentle demand whispered into my ear. He was right though, I needed to get away from this place. I looked around the familiar room and it made me nauseas. My legs were weak and useless as I stood up. His arm slid around my waist, steadying my clumsy steps out the door. Once out of the room he let his arm slide into a natural fit around my waist. . I have never felt so weak and so strong at the same time. Realizing I had been holding my breath, I tried to release it without being obvious. Looking at him through the thin crimson curtain of my hair, his mouth curved into a half smile, letting me know that he was aware of it.

The freedom of leaving the hospital was overwhelming. I had been spending all my time there; sleeping on the couch at night, a constant vigil during the day. Luke was with me when he wasn't working, but we were poor company. Both drained of hope, there was nothing left to say. To me nothing else existed outside that room. But now here I was; walking in step with Jace at a park across the street. The sun has never felt so warm on my skin. Every detail of the flowers and trees came alive to me. Each time Jace's shirt brushed against my shoulder, felt like surge electricity. I tried to study his face, but he gave away nothing. The urge to place my fingers in his hair, overwhelmed me, the sun made it shine in golden brilliance, like the sun extending all the way to his head.

"Not him," he hissed under his breath.

I looked at him in his sudden change of tone. His eyes were no longer playful light gold, they glowed more predator yellow than I had seen in awhile. Instinctively, the casual grip on my hip tightened. Ahead of us I could see a figure coming. The sun in that direction, so all I could make out was a single outline. As it came closer, I recognized the walk. Not the blunt, heavy walk I had known of him forever, but the new graceful, dominant walk that had recently come to be his. The change had made him so completely different. He was no longer the fun loving, lanky Simon with bed head and Cheeto breath that spent every day at my house. He was now confident, eloquent, and strong. Small gifts to compensate the life curse that caused it all. But he still treated me the same. He knew how to make me laugh and would do anything in the world for me.

"Simon!"

The fingers digging mercilessly into my hip, told me that Jace didn't share my excitement to see him.

"Ow," I whimpered.

"Sorry."

He immediately released me, but stayed at my side.

"I was just coming to see you. I'm glad someone got you out of that depressing room."

It wasn't meant as a thank you, actually the opposite. He had wanted to be the one to whisk me away from my pain, back into the world.

"How is she?"

I nodded my head, "the same."

The answer was becoming sickly familiar.

"I miss you. I hardly see you anymore."

His strong hands wrapped around me and I effortlessly spun me in circles in his arms. His new found strength still amazed me. My feet touched the earth again, but his arms didn't release. His head nestled deep into my hair. His chest was moving in and out against me. To anyone else he was just breathing, but I knew he was inhaling me.

"God Clary, nothing smells as good as you."

He kissed the top of my head. The contrast of his cold lips on my sun warmed head felt odd. Jace stood silently back from where Simon had taken me from. He didn't say anything, but he was forcing in sharp, intentional breaths told me how much he disliked Simon's attention for me.

"Simon stop," I pleaded quietly.

He lifted his face from my hair, but his remained firmly on me. Behind me I could hear Jace finally move. Simon noticed his offensive step forward.

"Back off demon hunter."

Simon had become so bold lately. Such a difference from the passive boy I'd grown up with. The transformation had given him bold confidence and a quick temper. He had told me that every emotion now felt like it was amplified a hundred times.

"Tough words from Raphael's pet."

Simon's body went instantly rigid. I pushed his hand off me, overwhelmed by the sudden reaction. He frightened me now, fully aware of what he was capable of. I stepped backwards until my back pressed into Jace's waiting hands; comforting and safe as always. Feeling so secure with Jace was normal, acceptable. Brothers are supposed to protect their sisters. It was the other feelings he evoked in me that I fought against. The way that his touch on my back made my legs suddenly unable to support me. I was going to fall. Jace's arm quickly wrapped around me, holding me up for the second time today.

"I have you Clary, I always will."

His warm lips vibrated against my ear as he said it.

"Are you insane? You can't have her. You can never have her. She's your sister. What's the matter with you?"

"What do you want with Clary anymore? I thought the wolf was your new play toy?

I had never mentioned to Jace that Simon and Maia were just friends now. I never thought he'd care.

"Jealous?"

Jace snorted a laugh at Simon, obviously taking his response at a lack for explanation.

Simon's voice came as a loud mocking laugh, "Leave her alone and let her live her life Wayland."

Simon's mouth curled up cruelly, even the wind stopped dead in anticipation, "or should I call you Morgenstern?"

His teeth were now beginning to slid out; gleaming and sharp. I shivered at the sight of them.

The stele flashed in Jace's hand. His lips mumbled a word too soft to hear. He was calling it. He was going to use it against Simon. My body hurled in front of him.

"Jace, no! Don't!"

"Move Clary."

When I didn't, he stepped around me. I was no match for quick reflexes. He closed in on Simon with long strides. Simon just stood there laughing. This was nothing more than a childish game to him. The world was spinning around me in slow motion. Blurry jumbles of browns and greens and grays. I screamed. It was all I could do, the only way to get their attention. Both stopped and looked at me. Two sets of hate filled eyes, melting to concern in my direction.

"Clary?"

Jace ran for me, but Simon reached me first.

"Please. You two are destroying me, can't you see it?"

I was pleading through sobs now, hot tears falling into my mouth with each desperate word.

"I need you both in my life, I love you both."

It was true... I had finally said it and now the tears came harder. No longer able to speak, Simon pulled me up. His touch like a feather, it must be taking all his control to be so gentle with me. He held me close, my arms and head fell limp like a ragdoll against his solid chest.

"I'm sorry Clary. Please don't cry."

He sounded like Simon now. His unnatural teeth were gone. I smiled up at his caring words. My shirt rippled as two much warmer hands rested on my shoulders.

"Me too Clary. I'm sorry. I would never do anything to hurt you."

Jace's head burrowed into my neck. He kissed my shoulder so softly I could have just imagined it, but the goose bumps on my arms protested it was real. Jace grabbed my shoulders firmly and spun me to face him. I sucked in the last remaining sob and tried to compose myself. My face was cradled between his hands as he sought my eyes with his own intense gaze.

"Clary we will both always be in your life. We will always love you. But you can't have both of us. You need to choose."

"Choose?"

I searched Jace's face for compassion, for a change of mind…heart. Instead, I saw in his dark eyes what I dreamt about at night. He was exciting and intense. Honest. Powerful, dangerous and beautiful. On touch from him sent unstoppable tremors throughout every nerve of my body. When I was afraid all I wanted was Jace's protective arms around me. But in him I also saw something forbidden and shameful. He was unsure of whom he was, he didn't trust himself and sometimes I didn't trust him either. The 

world didn't want us to be together. I felt the tears ting the back of my eyes again. I couldn't say goodbye to Jace.

I turned to Simon. He looked like my best friend again. Becoming a vampire had made him handsome, but I thought he was handsome before. He was still the keeper of all my secrets. He was the person that knew if he asked me what if something was wrong and I said no, I meant yes. He was brave and funny. Adventurous and charming. But in truth, he wasn't the same Simon. He was easy to anger and bold taking whatever he wanted. I recoiled at the way his eyes would ignite every time I would get a small cut or the way he would growl deep and chilling if things didn't go his way. His eyes bore into me, Simon's big brown eyes. I couldn't say good bye to Simon.


	2. Chapter 2

Standing between them felt like a vacuum, like all the air was being sucked from me. On one side was my world, my comfort, my home. The other side; someone that invaded every thought I had and made my heart beat like it had never even functioned until the day he came into my life, or more accurately, the day I stumbled into his.

"Clary?"

Simon's big eyes pushed for an answer that I didn't have. In truth, my decision should be simple; head against heart. Reasoning began to flood through, numbing me. I flung myself into his waiting arms and buried my head into his shirt. The familiar smell of fabric softener worked like a tranquilizer through my shaking body. I could feel his arms wrap around me to comfort and to claim me. My sobs threatened to tear my body apart.

"I am so sorry Jace."

My head stayed buried in Simon's blue tee as I spoke.

"It's fine."

He spoke uncharacteristically clam and quiet. I lifted my head up; barely able to make out his face through my swollen, wet eyes. His face looked as defeated as his voice sounded.

"We just can't...you and I…we-"

My heart was threatening to mutiny against my words at any moment. Jace turned to walk away. I wanted him to yell at me, be angry fight; anything! This easy acceptance was killing me. Why couldn't I be brave; like Isabelle? There were so many reasons to be jealous of her. Often I found myself wishing for her perfect hair or flawless smile or long legs, but today I wished I had her courage. Why couldn't I be brave enough to take a chance? To not take the safest route for once?

Jace stopped and turned back towards us. I felt Simon's grip tighten on me and then slowly release; he was letting me say good bye. I took a step towards Jace, I had never seen his eyes such a dull brown before; they were never less than brilliant.

"Do you hate me?" I was trying to hold my sobs, so that the words could come out clear.

"Never," his hand touched my face with a gentleness I never knew he was capable of.

"I know why you chose Simon, but I also know you Clary and you can't settle forever."

I laid my head, heavy, into his hand and let my eyes close, allowing the sound of his voice permanently embed in me

"Any even though you won't let me say it….it will forever be true."

My tears fell onto his hand, dripping across his scars, making them stand out as if they were new. He noticed too. His eyes thoughtfully watching the salty drops crawl over the old marks. His eyes seemed to 

flicker to life, only slightly. And then he quickly pulled his hand away, and replaced the spot on my cheek with a kiss. It burnt, surely only because my nerves were on edge. But it felt as if it would be burned forever onto my cheek and I wanted it to. He turned and walked out of the park without another word.

It felt like forever before I felt hands touch on my arms. Simon's cold skin contrasted on the last touch of Jace's burning skin, made me jump.

"C'mon, we have to get you home."

Luke had developed fatherly instincts rather quickly since I'd moved in with him. If I wasn't home by dinnertime, he tended to worry. I turned around to face Simon. He smiled at me, but his eyes looked concerned from behind his glasses. Even though he didn't actually need them, I'm glad he still wore them. He looked like a stranger without his glasses.

Simon drove me back to Luke's house in Eric's van. Simon had it most of the time now. Apparently Eric had adopted the tortured poet persona and spent all his time locked up in his blacked out room. So his mom gave Simon the van until Eric snapped out of his 'stage'.

The night went by pretty quickly. Simon stayed for dinner. I didn't make much effort towards conversation, so he was good company for Luke. I excused my self from dinner, figuring the only thing I was capable of right now was sleep. Luke's worried eyes watched me go, but I was sure Simon would fill him in on all that had happened today. I didn't bother changing after I shut the door to my room. I just lay down weakly on top of my comforter. Everything played back through my mind in slow motion, until I fell asleep in a willing escape.

A noise from the window woke me up suddenly. I looked around my room. It felt like I had been asleep for along time, but my alarm clock showed it had actually only been an hour. When the tap came from the window again I froze. There were no trees or bushes on this side of the house. Someone was there. I still had the light on, which made it impossible to see anything out in the pitch black night, but easily see every move I made. The thought chilled me. The window gave a crack and started to rise, something was pushing it up. I tried to scream for Luke, but my voice was long gone. My breath was caught painfully in my throat. I recognized the perfectly shined black boot as it stepped onto my floor, before the rest of his body came through.

"Jace!"


	3. Chapter 3

My heart raced with both elation and irritation.

"No what are you doing here? Go!"

My words tumbled out incoherently.

He straightened himself up and stared at me, childlike defiance blazing strongly in his eyes.

"You want me to leave?"

A smile hinted on his face; baiting me.

"No! Yes! Ahhh!"

Exasperated yells seem to loose their impact when you are trying to keep you voice down.

"You are a liar Clary fray," he spoke he accusation as he stepped towards me, "a cowardly liar."

His body left no room as it threatened to press against mine, I stepped backwards, but he kept the gap between us tight.

"God Jace, you crawl up and sneak into my window, just to insult me. Couldn't it wait until morning?"

My voice threatened to give away the coolness I was trying so hard for; his words had stung, with truth.

Bright gold eyes dared me to hold their gaze, but they were overpowering tonight and I dropped my head to the floor. His warm hand slipped under the cascade of red hair that draped my face, letting his thumb rub across my cheek, leaving a searing mark as it went. His slightest touch unsteadying every part of me.

"What do you want Jace?

The words came out sounding like a drunken slur. His hand continued to trace down my face and across my shoulder, lifting my arm between us. My arm rested in his rough hands, he watched the blood pound at new speeds through my dark veins.

"Clary," he spoke in determined, almost practiced sounding speech, "for once don't be afraid to feel, be fearless."

The burn of his stele hit my skin and I jerked my arm back, but his grip held it in place.

"Stop, what are you doing?"

His expert hands continued to glide the small blade over my skin. Leaving behind an intricate pattern that I had left on him so many times before. It hurt; every black mark that appeared was accompanied by a burn. But I wanted it to hurt. Hurt was an honest response to what I was feeling. It was a welcome change from the restricted feelings I felt whenever this blond angel touched me.

He dropped my arm and slipped the stele back inside his black coat. I cradled my marked arm with my other hand. The beautiful black design shined brilliant on my pale skin. A radiance that seemed to spreading inside me. What was I feeling? I turned around and looked into my mirror. An unfamiliar stunning Clary looked back; I looked brave and confident; like Isabelle.

"No fear."

The voice behind me sent a shiver through my spine. The fear is what I held onto to control my need for him. What would happen now that it was no longer there? I didn't care; I wanted Jace; my body and mind ached for him like a craving.

The door knob turned slowly and Luke poked his head in,

"I was worried -," his eyes stopped his sentence when he saw Jace.

Behind him I heard a growl, Simon was there too.

"What are you doing here Wayland? She chose me. Leave!"

I knew Luke was holding Simon back, even though no struggle showed on their faces. Jace sat back on a ratty armchair in the corner. His arms propped casually behind his blond hair and a cocky smile across his face.

"Really Clary? Is that the truth?"

He looked directly at me, "Is that really what you want?"

"What have you done; drugged her, messed with her mind?"

His rage was causing him to quickly transform in front of us.

"I would never!"

Jace flung his hand to his chest in fake shock.

"I just finally gave her the chance to speak what she wants without fear."

Both Luke and Simon's eyes fell to the fresh rune on my arm.

"You put the fearless mark on her? Jace that was very dangerous."

Luke's voice was calm, but I could sense the worry he had about the power that was now burnt into my arm.

Jace resumed his laid back position in the chair as he looked at Simon, but spoke to me, "Tell us what you truly want Clary."

My chest didn't hurt at the question; the answer didn't choke my throat. The words came out strong and true, "You! No matter what I want you Jace!"

Simon's growl now became a horrific roar. Luke's restraint on him was loosening. From behind Luke's head I heard my best friend yell,

"No fear Clary? What about your mom; do you not fear how you are destroying her by choosing him?"

My mom? The freedom in my heart felt suddenly crushed. I couldn't bear what this would do to hear. I looked at Simon who was smiling triumphantly as he words sunk in. Jace looked concerned; he was quickly next to me. Just as he reached his hand out to touch me I ran. Pushing with an unknown strength, past the vampire and werewolf at my door, through the blur of the house and out to the cool, clear night. I ran, propelled by a hundred mixed feelings, all the way to the hospital.


	4. Chapter 4

The Hospital looked so different at nighttime, too many lights made it glow like a beacon of hope to all, but me. My hope left me long ago. Maybe it had actually only been a week since the stranger had shown up with the promise that she could wake Jocelyn up. But Madeleine said she needed one last thing and left for Idiris, promising to return as soon as she had it. But she hasn't returned; I was getting accustomed to false hope.

My feet didn't move towards the automatic front doors. MY legs felt weak and not just from my two mile escape run from Luke's, but from the weight of what I was carrying with me. I fell onto a bench behind me that sat on the edge of the same park Jace and Simon had presented me with my ultimatum earlier. It was no longer the light, beautiful breath of fresh air it had been that afternoon, but now a dark, cold garden of secrets; we all had them. My heart groaned at that thought. At this point I was too frustrated to cry, too weak to go any further and too confused to even think straight.

Even though I could only hear one set of footsteps coming up behind me, my body sensed two people. Their approach was cautious; were they mad at me? They should be. Next to me, on the small bench, a warm strong body sat down, on the other side sat down a cold lean body. MY legs rested against both of theirs causing a swirl of contrasting sensations. Both pairs of eyes were focused on the ground, just like my own.

"Clary?"

I didn't respond to Simon's concern.

This time he brought his hand up to my head, letting his fingers tangle into my hair, something he'd always done to comfort me.

"Are you o.k.? We're really sorry. It was stupid to put all this on you with so much else already on your mind."

He thought I was mad at them, they should be the ones upset with me and my indecisive mind.

"We're jerks Clary."

"Some of us more than others," Jace added through his teeth.

I felt Simon's hand slip behind my head and slap Jace's shoulder.

"Uh fine."

Jace turned to me. His face even managed to glow like a golden angel under the harsh white street light above us.

"We won't make you choose. This was never meant to hurt you. We know you need us both right now," his hand slowly began to cover my own that was resting on my leg, whether intentional or not, "and we'll both be here for you."

I didn't deserve both of them. So much of what has happened was my fault, but no one ever said so. It just made the pain harder to bear. I knew the fearless rune was wearing off; I felt like my usual weak, confused self. I looked down at the faint line on my arm, barely visible. Simon's arm came around my shoulder and I fell into it. I just wanted to be held right now, I didn't care by whom. But the longer his arms protected my body, the more I realized it was a lie; I did care.

"Simon?" I said against his shirt.

"I love you so much," I pulled my head up to look into his dark eyes, "I couldn't do anything without you in my life. You will always mean everything to me."

"But," he coaxed.

"But I am not in love with you."

The words dangled in the night air. Finally free from my mouth. I waited for him to respond. His arms just wrapped me up again; tight against his newly hard chest.

"I know Clary, I know."

He spoke into my hair. It was just Simon speaking, not a hint of the vampire; just my Simon.

It took me a minute to remember the unmoved body behind me. He was still sitting there, his hands casually in his lap. I pulled away from Simon, hoping there was still some ounce of the runes power in me there was no way I could do this alone.

"Do you promise you'll be here no matter what?" I spoke so softly I hoped he hadn't actually heard.

"Of course," he still just stared at the ground.

My hand came up to his flawless face, my fingers brushing across his cheek. It felt like dipping my fingers into fire. His skin scorched my fingertips. As I swept his cheek I watched his eyes shut. Worry took over me. Was I causing him pain? Did he hate this? Did he feel the same electricity I felt? My mouth came to his ear and my lips trembled as I whispered,

"Wrong or right, perfect or disgusting, easy or hard; I am truly and completely in love with you and NOTHING," I emphasized the truth in that single word, "will change that."

For a few minutes Jace didn't move, even my fingers against his face froze. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. But it was out now, he knew the truth and I couldn't take it back. I gasped when his hands grabbed a hold of my face. But he didn't leave me anytime to breath or even think before his lips crashed on me. This wasn't the reserved, careful kisses he shared before. Desperation, relief, hunger flowed from him. His hands never left my face, holding me as close as he possibly could. Only releasing my lips to let his burning mouth trail along my neglected jaw and up to my cheek. His mouth rested there, breathing heavily, his face searing against mine.

"Uh Clary."

I was embarrassed having forgotten Simon was there. But when I turned around I saw it wasn't for himself that he was tapping my shoulder. Madeleine stood there, smiling.

"It seems I finally have what I need. Shall we go awaken Jocelyn?"

Her hands were empty, what could have been so important for her to have left for so long? The satisfied look in here eyes went between Jace and me. We all stood up and followed her into the hospital.

THE END


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